What's more, your own body language, as a leader, can either enhance or undermine how you are viewed. Positive body language can help leaders be more empathetic and establish better communication. It can strengthen the connection with employees and inspire trust.

To get some tips on effective non-verbal leadership communication, I spoke with Joe Navarro, ex-FBI special agent and one of the world's leading experts on non-verbal communication. Navarro is now an instructor and private consultant to major corporations. He is the best-selling author of over 14 books, including his latest, "Be Exceptional: Master the Five Traits That Set Extraordinary People Apart." I was just as thrilled to speak with Anne-Maartje Oud, CEO and Founder of The Behaviour Company and body language expert.

What Is Non-verbal Communication?

"Non-verbal communication," says Navarro, "is anything that communicates a message but is not a word." It's everything from our facial expressions and gestures, to what we wear, to how well we are groomed.

Even good manners constitute non-verbal body language, Navarro says. "So things such as:

• opening the door for others.
• using a good tone of voice. 
• smiling. 
• being kind. 

"These are all forms of non-verbals, and these are power to businesspeople. Never underestimate the power of being kind and liking others. Period."

You are always on display as a leader, whether in a one-on-one meeting or when virtually presenting to large groups. As Navarro explains, our body language constantly transmits information about our thoughts, feelings and intentions.

How to Improve Non-verbal Communication

Being conscious of the non-verbal messages we send is essential. For one thing, this awareness will help us ensure that our body language matches our words. It will also help us avoid negative body language that could make us appear unfriendly or lacking confidence.

To get you started on improving your non-verbal communication, try these tips from Navarro:

Take Your Time

"One of the things we understand universally," says Navarro, "is that a leader exercises control by how they enter a room, how they look around, and so forth. And, of course, how they dress and the manner in which they walk and carry themselves.

"Leaders don't do anything hurriedly. They don't have to. They're leaders. So, we say that they have temporal control.

"One of the things we see over and over in leadership," adds Navarro, "is this way you carry yourself where you don't have to hurry." 

Use Cadence

Navarro says another way leaders exercise temporal control is that "they take the time to meet and greet everybody, to make good solid eye contact with them. And then they deliver their message. They exercise what we call 'temporal control,' which is they use cadence."

I asked him to give an example of leaders using cadence. "Winston Churchill used this brilliantly," he replied. "Martin Luther King was also exceptional in using cadence. And we saw it also with Abraham Lincoln when he gave the Gettysburg Speech:

Four score and seven years ago, [pause]. 

Our forefathers brought forth upon this continent a new nation, [pause]. 

"Because you're speaking in cadence," explains Navarro, "you're taking up time and the person that controls time, in essence, controls." 

Navarro concludes by saying that "these are things that a leader can use and demonstrate, and in so doing, a leader is communicating that they're in charge because they're not in a hurry. Because they can take their time walking in, walking about, and dominating the conversation by speaking in tones that demonstrate that time is theirs. And, of course, speaking in cadence beautifully controls the attention and time." 

However, your body language shouldn't always be the same for every person you talk to in every conversation. Just like verbal communication, you should tailor your non-verbal communication to fit the context. Here are a couple of examples where some nuance is needed:

Body Language When Navigating a Difficult Conversation With an Employee

Conducting an effective difficult conversation with an employee is a critical leadership competence. You may need to give a negative performance review, deliver stern feedback, or reset an employee's expectations. 

So how can body language help you to handle these difficult conversations successfully?

"That's a great question. First of all," says Navarro, "you have to have boundaries. You have to demonstrate that you are, in fact, a leader, but you are willing to listen. And listen as long as it takes so that the person feels that their message is being received and that they have their say." 

Navarro emphasizes that it's essential to be direct, not fidgeting. "Just think about what you need to say in advance and then just say it. And if you have to tell someone they're being put on notice because they're failing in their task, then you just lay it out, just like that." 

I asked Oud to elaborate on any body language cues a leader should give when handling a difficult conversation with an employee. 

"It depends," replied Oud, "on if the conversation is difficult for you as a leader (maybe you are new to this kind of conversation on how to give constructive feedback) or if the difficulty is there for the employee." 

This is an important distinction. We explored how a leader can make an employee feel comfortable during a difficult conversation.

"Being a good listener helps. Listening is key," explains Oud. "Also, ensure that your posture, gestures and voice are not antagonistic. We can be empathetic with our gestures but also firm with boundaries." 

Our message must be plain and understandable, stresses Oud, "and supported by congruent behavior: a straight posture, a clear voice and good eye contact. Use your eyes to gaze as you listen but not stare with acrimony." 

According to Oud, it also helps to validate the fears and apprehensions of others. "In the end, the message must be conveyed as humanely as possible." 

Body Language When Communicating With a Neurodivergent Employee

Neurodivergent people have a brain that works differently from the average or "neurotypical" person. This includes differences in ways of learning, ways of communicating, or ways of perceiving the environment. 

Should leaders adapt their body language and communication style when talking to neurodivergent employees?

Oud says: "Adaptation is key for anyone who wants to communicate effectively. As a leader, you should observe and understand how you can create comfort during your conversation to help others, yourself and the company achieve the goals ahead." 

"Neurodiversity," she adds, "is such a broad category that may require standing further away or perhaps making less eye contact, slowing down how fast you speak, or changing the tone of voice. Observation is key to determining what will make the other person or team more psychologically comfortable and how to act accordingly."

Focusing on what makes a person more psychologically comfortable ties in with an important principle Joe Navarro talks about: the importance of observing people's signs of "comfort" and "discomfort."

Focusing on these two behavioral clues will give you the necessary information to help you adapt your approach accordingly. It will yield powerful insights that can make you a more effective communicator. Asking yourself, "Are people comfortable or uncomfortable?" is one of the top ways of becoming body-language smart.

Taking Control of Your Body Language

When we seek to learn about body language, many of us look for tips on detecting deception or projecting power. But the overarching message I have gotten from Joe Navarro and Anne-Maartje Oud is to focus instead on observing the signs of comfort or discomfort in others. Using these cues to modify your body language so that others feel at ease around you is a surefire way to become a better communicator and achieve greater success in your interaction.

Discover more about using body language to communicate more effectively, with our recommended resources:

Body Language
Adapting Your Communication Style Video
Body Language Battle Video
What Every BODY Is Saying
5 Moves to Master Body Language Infographic

About the Author:

Bruna is an educator, author and speaker specializing in emotional intelligence, leadership, communication, and presentation-skills training.

The post How to Use Body Language to Be a Better Leader – Tips From the Experts! appeared first on Mind Tools.

Paying close attention to body language can have a significant effect at work. What follows is a true story!

A few years ago I worked at a company where I was responsible for the human resources management. I was there for several years, and I got to know some of the staff members very well.

Sometimes, a company has a "difficult" department. We had such a department, and when we appointed Jane, she was like the proverbial "new broom."

Jane took her work very seriously. She was dedicated, often took the initiative, helped out wherever she could, and worked hard to satisfy our clients.

Shortly after she joined the company, Jane faced three major life events within weeks of each other. I often had to counsel her, help her, or arrange support of some kind. During that time I got to know her very well on a personal level and developed immense respect for her.

Something Doesn't Look Right…

But, about three and a half years into her career with us, I started feeling that something wasn't quite right. To this day I can't tell you exactly what it was, but I observed changes in her body language that bothered me.

After I became aware of my initial discomfort, I realized that our eye contact wasn't as comfortable as it used to be. At times, she avoided making eye contact at all. She looked like a child caught doing something wrong, but trying her best to look innocent. It also seemed as if she tried to manipulate her body language to appear natural, which of course made it come across as unnatural! The whole situation was strange: why was she trying to look innocent? Why did she feel guilty?

Initially, I doubted myself and told myself to stop making up stories in my head. However, the feeling that something was wrong refused to go away. Eventually, I confided in one of the directors, and we decided to request an immediate department audit.

Caught Red-Handed

During the audit, it came to light that Jane had worked out an exceptionally cunning way of stealing from the company. When I read through the reports, I realized that the fraud had begun at more or less the same time that I had noticed a change in her behavior!

However, I knew that it was dangerous to take action based on assumptions, rather than facts. What if Jane was dealing with another stressful personal situation that wasn't known to me? Could that have changed her body language? Sure – that's why it was crucial to get professional help to make sure that it wasn't a confirmation bias deceiving me.

What Worked in My Favor?

Of course, it turned out that my conclusions were correct. I was confident that they would be, because:

1. I knew Jane very well. Over the years I had built up an unconscious database of her honest body language. When her dishonest body language started, I just "knew" that something was wrong.
2. I'm observant, and have a good memory when it comes to people and their behavior.
3. I had a glass office that looked onto a large area of our workplace. So, I was able to observe her actions in her unguarded moments, too. Those were just as telling: during some of her phone calls, her demeanor looked guilty. If it weren’t for the other telltale signs, I would have thought that she was talking to a secret lover.

My brain had flashed a "red alert" message, just by comparing Jane's body language at this time to the way she had behaved in the past.

Body Language: Speaking Without Words

During our #MTtalk Twitter chat last week, we discussed body language and how we use it to speak without words. Here are all the questions we asked during the chat, and some of the responses.

Q1. Which element of body language is most important to you: facial expression, gestures or posture? Why?

@DrTonyKainth I'm not sure anyone in isolation can give a complete sense of what's being communicated. I try to attend to all of these elements simultaneously but it is part of my job!

@bodytextpro I definitely hear tone of voice, then see facial expression and then posture. I think I ignore the hands… Unless it's one of those TV presenters who've learned arm-ography!

@NWarind All are important but none works if no one is listening.

Q2. In your country, what influence does your culture have on body language?

It was interesting to see how the same body language and facial expressions mean different things in different cultures.

@Midgie_MT Coming from a Canadian background, I look for open body language and direct eye contact.

@Yolande_MT In South Africa, where I live, some ethnic groups regard eye contact with an older or more senior person as disrespectful. Other groups regard the lack of eye contact as being untrustworthy.

Q3. How does paying attention to body language help? What are the benefits?

@ShajoeHR Body language can help us to discern when someone is not telling us the whole truth.

@SaifuRizvi Paying attention to body language helps us to understand the gravity of a situation, intention of an individual and what is not being said!

Q4. What part does body language play in creating (or destroying) rapport? Please explain.

@JKatzaman Body language that doesn't match what you say will cost you credibility with your audience.

@WonderPix Anything from posture to tone of voice to eye contact can impact our connections. We decipher based on our culture and experience.

Q5. How does body language contribute to (or combat) harrassment or bullying?

@MicheleDD_MT If your body language conveys confidence, people are less likely to bully you. Stand tall, maintain eye contact, speak with conviction. Bullies focus on people who are insecure.

@Jikster2009 Body language can be intimidating and make others feel uncomfortable, deliberately or unintentionally (if not self-aware). Having a relaxed and open posture could alleviate potential conflict/intimidation.

Q6. What pitfalls do we need to avoid when interpreting body language?

A common theme that emerged is that you need to check your assumptions.

@SailorsBen Don't assume your read is correct. It probably is, but don't assume it. Use probing questions to see if you're right. Don't be blunt, but you can adjust the angle you're taking, the voice you're using, how close you're standing, your body language, etc.

@Dwyka_Consult How you interpret other people's body language may also be influenced by how emotionally needy you are and what your expectations are.

@sittingpretty61 Take care when you label behavior or mannerisms during the conversation. Many people become defensive because they feel inferior and their behavior may not be the complete picture of who they are.

Q7. How do you handle a situation when words and body language don't match?

@harrisonia Speak up and don't wait too long. Gain clarity on the miscommunication.

@BrainBlenderTec Do something unexpected. Often it's because what they want to say is getting crossed by what they think they should be saying. If you throw them off, usually they will startle into the former.

Q8. What effect does your body language have on other people? How do you know?

@Mushcado Hopefully others will let you know, but let’s face it – that rarely happens. What we have to do is keep aware of the reactions (or lack of reactions) of those around us and then make a judgment.

@harrisonia There are times when I'm not angry but I don't feel like smiling; some people may misinterpret this as being unapproachable. On the contrary, if I am smiling, that does NOT mean I invite you to approach me!

Q9. In a stressful situation, what happens to your body language and what effect does that have on you?

@Midgie_MT I have been known, in stressful situations, to try and make myself smaller when in fact I need to consciously try to make myself "bigger," which in turn helps with confidence.

@SailorsBen I've found when I'm stressed, I'll cross my arms, look down, or glare out of the corner of my eye, and I'll get defensive. My facial expressions become combative or sarcastic. I may even walk away.

Q10. How can you change your body language yet stay true to your individuality/remain authentic?

@OkemaForever Always be whoever you are. We all have "mannerisms," and it's always best to communicate to the person you're concerned about, not to someone else, if you want to fix the issue.

@MicheleDD_MT Intention is important. If your intentions are good, then you are unlikely to change your body language to manipulate or deceive others.

To read all of the tweets, have a look at the Storify summary over here.

Coming Up

Many of us struggle with procrastination from time to time. Maybe you don't like a specific task, or it's just not important enough to you. But what if your procrastination is so bad that it turns into self-sabotaging behavior?

The topic for our next #MTtalk chat, on March 16, is "Busting Self-Sabotaging Habits." In which area of your life do you sabotage yourself because of procrastination? Click here to cast your vote.

Resources

In the meantime, here are some resources that will help you to learn more about body language:

Making a Great First Impression
Dealing With Angry People
Building Rapport
How Good Are Your Communication Skills?
Interpersonal Skills: Start Here
Body Language
Avoiding Cross-Cultural Faux Pas: Body Language
Can Your Body Language Make You More Powerful?
Cultural Intelligence
How Approachable Are You?
What's Empathy Got to Do With It?
Cross-Culture Communication
Mind Your (Body) Language

Club members can also access the full versions of the following articles:

Five Ways to Build Rapport Online
How to Manage Defensive People
Using the Phone Effectively
How to Work With Irritating People
How to Make "High-Quality Connections"

The post Body Language: Speaking Without Words – #MTtalk Roundup appeared first on Mind Tools.